Only Theo Panayides Has Wings

This is a blog about Theo Panayides, the cyprustician online critic that writes reviews of movies old and new on his website (http://leonardo.spidernet.net/Artus/2386/). He is very good. In fact, he is awesome. It is also an exercise for my english-writing abilities, as I'm from Brazil.

Name:
Location: Goiânia, Goiás, Brazil

Saturday, September 17, 2005

He Beat Me To It

Theo sez [Sorry for the lack of recent Films Seen; I got sidetracked - and now I'm off to a festival in Greece, so no more action on this site for at least a week. I wish life would stop getting in the way of movie-watching, to be frankly honest.]


Damn. Since Theo hadn't gone to the TIFF (that means Toronto International Freedom Fighters), I was hoping I would see most of the big 2005 movies before he did, in the São Paulo Festival. Damn. That would've placed me in a superior, more venerable position. Like if in the middle ages, a king would like order a pizza by phone every day and one of his guards would receive the pizza everyday from the delivery guy and he would bring it to the king, but this guard is really poor and he really likes pizza so he saves some money and after a few months the king orders a pizza and the guard dude also orders a pizza, but he orders his pizza from a cheaper place, and, like, ironically, the cheaper pizza place would deliver his pizza faster than the expensive haute cousine pízza place the king ordered from. So when the king's pizza arrived, the guard would already be eating his pizza and the king would be like "Go get my fucking pizza!" and the guard would be like "Hey, can't you see I'm fucking eating here? Wait a minute! I mean jesus. (pause) Oh boy, this tastes really good" and the king would be like "Ok, I'm chopping this guy's head off pronto" and the guard guy would be like "God, what a drama queen. Ok, I'll go get your pizza". You know?

Oh well.

Anyway, does anyone have a clue as to what film festival is going on in Greece this week? I heard of a Short Film Festival, but I couldn't find MALGAAT in the programme. There's also a Canberra film festival, but it's just a few greek movies, what would Theo want with that, etc. So I don't know. I frankly didn't do any extensive research, so if any Panayidette would be interested in investigating, be my guest.

I predict these are going to be Theo's ratings to the big 2005 movies:

THE HIDDENED - high 70's (on account that this movie was made by Micheal Haneke and he has loved virtually all of Haneke's recent movies and on account that this is chilling thriller and on account that the trailer for this movie is better than most movies I've seen this year (and I'm sure Theo agrees))

GAME OVER, KURT KOBAIN - low 60's (on account that he was mixed on EL PHANT and this looks slightly "more accomplished" than EL PHANT)

THE CHILD OF THE DARDENNE - high 70's (on account that Theo flips over backwards for any Dardenne bros movie -- now I just pictured Theo flipping over backwards while waiting in line to get a ticket for this movie, and the guy next to him in line thinking "this is some fucked up greek dude, jesus". That would be really funny.)

THE WAYDOWNTOWN CLOUD - low 70's (on account that Theo's recent tryptich (sp?) of Tsai shows that he is slowly coming to terms with the fact that this filmmaker is so awesome. Also, Mike Del Anglo said this is Tsai's best movie)

HOMOSSEXUAL COWBOYS BY ANG LEE - high 60's (on account that this has Donnie Darko having sex with cowboys and Heatcliff Ledger, which is something Theo always thought would be interesting to see)

ARAGORN'S VIOLENT HISTORY - low or mid 70's (yeah, sue me) (on account that everybody loves this movie)

LAY MAN'S DEARTH (THE LARS VON TRIER MOVIE) - either high 50's or low 60's (on account that this is like Dogville but inferior. Also, Theo's the Cinephile Nigger)

THE PRESIDENT LIKES TO BANG - mid 60's (on account that Theo does not usually love asian movies (because of his hidden anti-asian agenda (yes, I did not forget that 65 for SEVEN SAMURAI, bud)))

TIME TIMES THREE - high 50's ("One more time!", said Daft Punk, some years ago)

REGULAR LOVERS (is there any way to make this title funny? I'll leave that to you) - either low or mid 70's (on account that I don't have much info on this movie, but a lot of folks seemed to like it, like Sicinski gave it a 9 and stuff, so who knows)

EVIL ALIENS - mid 90's (this is obvious, etc)


If I get at least five of these right, I'll celebrate by buying myself a bottle of non-cheap wine and inviting my friends over for a Coen Brothers marathon.

Of course, those predictions of Theo's grades don't have much to do with my predictions of my grades (for example, THE WAY-TO-GO CLOUD would certainly be a high 70's-low 80's for me, as it will obviously rock, and I'm becoming a Tsai fanboy).

Anyway, good luck with the festival, Theo. You better come back with one of those anecdotes.



PS: What's so great about ACE IN THE HOLE? I'm on the J. Hoberman/Phil Hall side.

23 Comments:

Anonymous md'a said...

Based on its dates from 2004, I'm pretty sure Theo is at the Athens International Film Festival, which for some weird reason does not seem to have a website this year.

10:20 AM  
Anonymous md'a said...

Wait, I found it:

www.aiff.gr

10:43 AM  
Blogger Luis said...

Thanks bud.

There appears to be a seriously cool Jean Renoir retrospective going on which I'm sure Theo will miss in order to see some retarded stuff like THE PIANO TUNER OF EARTHQUAKES.

Also, almost none of the big 2005 movies are playing there. I guess he'll wait for the London Fest (which is still earlier than the SP Fest. Damn).

Also, I hope he doesn't miss SOY CUBA on account that SOY CUBA is unbelievably awesome.

2:00 PM  
Anonymous Theo said...

I only *wish* I was in Athens. Actually I'm here:

www.dramafilmfestival.gr/en

They're showing Malgaat but I probably shouldn't have come. There's nothing to do except watch short films (incl. one by Christu Puiu) and I have zero interest in short films. Also, Drama the place is really small, though I finally found internet access at the Public Library. (I've been on this machine for like an hour and no-one else seems to want it, so I'm guessing the Information Age hasn't yet caught up with Drama.) Sorry for the whining but I'm kind of bored to be honest.

Also, no way would I ever miss a Renoir retro for the Brothers Quaint. Also, ACE IN THE HOLE? Awesome. "I've met some hard-boiled eggs" and so on and so forth.

2:18 AM  
Blogger Luis said...

I can't believe the population of Drama is getting to watch the masterpiece The Malgaat before any of the Panayidettes.

Also, I can't believe there's a place called Drama. That is so awesome. You'd think a bunch of awesome filmmakers would come out of a city called Drama. Is there a city in Greece called Three-Act-Structure? Etc.

8:57 AM  
Anonymous Vadim said...

You were right about Hanne Hukkelberg. The roommate brought her home; she's quite good.

5:37 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

It’s 11:00 in the morning and your energy is waning. Minutes seem to tick by like hours and your mind feels foggy. You’ve still got six more hours to look alert and act productive and get over anxiety panic disorder, so how do you cope with the afternoon blahs? Follow these six tips!

1. If you have a job that involves sitting at a desk all day or staring at a computer screen, take five minutes to stand up or lean back, close your eyes and stretch, especially in your shoulder and leg areas. Being seated all the time can make your whole body feel stiff and sleepy. A good stretch session helps limber up your body and gets the blood flowing again.

2. Avoid the tempting lure of caffeine or sugar-laden foods such as coffee, tea or chocolate. Caffeine may perk up your energy levels temporarily, but it also has a bad habit of leaving you sluggish after the effect has worn off. Instead, choose whole grain foods, fruits and vegetables to give your body the fuel it really wants! Eating healthier will boost your mood, elevate your alertness, change anxiety panic disorder and make you feel better all day long.

3. Along with healthier foods, take a quick 10-15 minute walk during your lunch break. Just a few minutes will give you a burst of energy that refreshes you and makes you feel more alert – while burning off your lunch calories in the process!

4. Sometimes, afternoon slumps can be your body’s way of telling you that it needs something. You may be feeling tired if your blood sugar is low (which happens especially after the effect of those caffeine and high sugar foods has worn off!). Packing a low calorie snack like graham crackers, granola, fruit or vegetable slices can give your body a boost and keep you from feeling hungry in the late afternoon and caving in to the urge to devour the entire contents of the vending machine after work!

5. Drowsiness is often a sign that you’re not getting enough water. Drinking more water throughout the day not only helps keep you awake, but also keeps you from feeling those hunger pangs that inevitably creep up in mid-morning. Taking a large sports bottle that you can drink from throughout the day is a great way to get your recommended eight glasses a day as well!

6. If afternoon fatigue is a recurring problem, it may be a side effect of medications you are taking. Allergy pills are well known culprits, as are some blood pressure and anxiety/depression medicines. Don’t try to circumvent these effects with caffeine, otherwise you’ll overload your body with stimulants while it’s already trying to deal with drowsiness, and you’ll feel mentally and physically exhausted. Instead, try a short 15-20 minute catnap. You’ll be surprised how refresh you’ll feel when you wake up! (Don’t try this at work though – I know it’s tempting!)

If you follow these tips on a regular basis, you’ll not only make it through the afternoon blahs, but you’ll also feel better physically and mentally, sleep better at night, and wake up rejuvenated and re-energized the next morning. Make it a GREAT day! anxiety panic disorder

8:21 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey, you have a great blog here! I'm definitely going to bookmark you!

I have a anxiety information site/blog. It pretty much covers ##KEYWORD## related stuff.

Come and check it out if you get time :-)

4:17 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey, you have a great blog here! I'm definitely going to bookmark you!

I have a anxiety separation toddler site/blog. It pretty much covers ##KEYWORD## related stuff.

Come and check it out if you get time :-)

4:58 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

mental health references can be a devastating disease that affects millions of individuals and families. Find the right mental health references program for yourself or a loved. It will be the first day of the rest of their or your life.

You can get more assistance at http://www.healthlistings.com .

7:41 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

university of miami

10:12 PM  
Anonymous viagra said...

With regard to viagra and erectile dysfunction, it is already apparent that Viagra was first developed as a treatment for angina but later the drug emerged to be a suitable cure for male impotency but far more striking news is presently capturing the attention of the whole world. Seems Untrue! Well, it is doubtlessly true that oysters fed with the anti-impotency drug Viagra has shown effective results against erectile dysfunction and George May, the Australian farmer who created Viagra oysters became thoroughly popular after the news relating to the efficacy of his Viagra oysters leaked out. Guys! If cheap viagra can make oysters so powerful against erectile dysfunction then why won’t you be able to combat your impotency successfully after you buy viagra? Opt for Viagra via viagra online and once you buy Viagra online and administer the drug in accordance with the instructions of the doctor, you would instantly get cured of erectile dysfunction!

3:19 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

[url=http://www.xbox360achievements.org/forum/member.php?u=259462]order mexitil online cod[/url]

9:47 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

[url=http://community.bsu.edu/members/buy+online+Viagra.aspx]Viagra drug no prescription[/url]

5:12 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I want not acquiesce in on it. I regard as warm-hearted post. Especially the title-deed attracted me to review the intact story.

12:19 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Genial dispatch and this post helped me alot in my college assignement. Thanks you as your information.

9:21 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Well I agree but I think the post should acquire more info then it has.

1:35 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The writer of thetheoblog.blogspot.com has written a superior article. I got your point and there is nothing to argue about. It is like the following universal truth that you can not disagree with: The most serious problem is always the one you didn't anticipate. I will be back.

11:22 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

limit this

http://redwalldeals.com/

5:25 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I am absolutely assured of it.

10:29 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I am sorry, it not absolutely approaches me. Perhaps there are still variants?

11:31 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi
Very nice and intrestingss story.

5:48 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

buy levitra online canada
buy

4:18 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home