Only Theo Panayides Has Wings

This is a blog about Theo Panayides, the cyprustician online critic that writes reviews of movies old and new on his website ( He is very good. In fact, he is awesome. It is also an exercise for my english-writing abilities, as I'm from Brazil.

Location: Goiânia, Goiás, Brazil

Wednesday, May 04, 2005

Theodorus Back In Action

"Finally, Voice of Law demanded that Malgaat’s womb become
barren as a broken field. Tearfully, she agreed, and the
first females were born among the bulls and oxen.

Although her children did, Malgaat never served humanity.

She broke her oath, not just refusing to serve humanity,
but also continuing to eat the flesh of humans." (WTF)

So, Theo, how did it go? Did you win anything? Did people like completely drool over it and then applaud with their hands dripping of drool and sperm and were like "It's Cyprus' response to Citizen Kane" and you were all "I'd rather not talk about the complex thematic implications of my work" in the Q&A? Did you meet Richard Linklater? Did you meet Shane Carruth? Did you get the "Primer"* DVD which you need to rewatch immediately? Did you meet producers and executives and distributors and pitched your idea on "expanding Malgaat to a full-blown Vampire-Mom-That-Continues-To-Eat-Human-Flesh-While-Her-Children-Try-To-Cope-With-It-And-Have-A-Normal-Childhood, set in 30's Houston with a Tindersticks score and photography by Harris Savides? If you didn't, then why the hell not?

Also, I trust you know we Panayidettes (yes, that is a term now) are hoping for a complete report on your trip and details on your movie (and where can I buy it) and idiosyncratic musings on life and culture in Houston and funny anecdotes about homeless people singing "Like a Rolling Stone" and Jonathan Rosenbaum saying your hotdog was both a masterpiece and a mannered curiosity, etc, stuff like that.

Btw, I'm having a rhinitis crisis (hope this is the correct term) today, so it has not been fun at all. Sneezing, my eyes are all teary (I lost some of you now), running nose, extremely unconfortable. I was hoping I would finish Philip K. Dick's "Flow My Tears, The Policeman Said"** -- which is fantastic so far, I'm almost finishing -- but that did not work cause I did not want to stain the book with mucus. I've been listening to Daft Punk's new album "Human After All", which is pretty minimalist and repetitive and kinda cheesy-80's-throwback-thing (even the video for "Robot Rock" is like that). These can be either good or bad things, depending on taste. I'm somewhere in the middle. Also, "Red River" is pretty freaking great. It's like a 79. Don't you love when Hawks pulls a 360°-pan showing all the cattle, and he stops it on John Wayne, who looks towards the camera and says "Take'em to Missouri, Matt!" and Montgomery Clift yells "Yeeeee-Haaaw!"? That was fucking Cinema, in my opinion. So, now you know a little more about me. Don't you see? I'm humanizing myself. I am Human After All.

*I can send you a downloaded .avi copy of Primer with very good image and sound, Theo. It's illegal, but hey, Primer will only be released in Brazil when the next solar eclipse hits (I'm making a wild guess here and seriously hope it won't hit soon, so that my analogy stands true). Do you want it?

**I can picture a pretty freaking awesome movie being made "Flow My Tears, The Policeman Said", but it would have to have been made in early 70's, with an early 70's Jack Nicholson as Jason Taverner and a dark Robert Altman doing it. Or maybe ir can be done now, with whatever equivalent of an early 70's Nicholson they can find (or maybe a Campbell Scott) and a Naked-like Mike Leigh doing it (or maybe an uncommonly loose David Fincher). It's an awesome book, really.

PS: I've been exhibiting my link on Theo's page to my friends, though most of the responses are of the "What the fuck is wrong with you, dude?"-variety.


Blogger Khansc said...

"I can send you a downloaded .avi copy of Primer with very good image and sound"

The FBI will get you.

10:07 AM  
Anonymous Richard III said...

Hey, what's the deal with this secret movie geek chat group?

A link! A link! My kingdom for a link!

1:45 PM  
Blogger Luis said...

We will find the secret rebel movie geek chat group, one way or another. They can't hide it for too long. The Force grows weaker by the hour.

*heavy breathing*

11:14 AM  
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2:52 PM  

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